This is a really tough question to answer without knowing what shape, size, and material you would prefer! But here are some companies that make fantastic, body-safe dildos. You’ll pay more for them than you would with mass-produced toys, but they are hygienic and will last forever.
- Vixen Creations. Look for the dildos made out of “VixSkin,” which is a 100% silicone material that’s squishy on the outside and hard on the inside. AMAZING, I tell you. Mustang is my suggestion.
- Tantus. A large selection of silicone dildos; some come with little bullets that stick in their bases. Many different sizes.
- Fun Factory. Whimsical and colorful. Vibes, dildos, and more, made of silicone.
- njoy. Stainless steel. They make the Pure Wand. Enough said.
- NobEssence. Wood! A hard sell, I know, but I adore my Seduction.
- RubyGlass21, Simply Blown. Glass dildos! Everyone needs at least one glass dildo.
Feel free to follow up with me if you need more help narrowing the field. Good luck!
- Sugarcunt: You could drill a hole through the bottom, slip a ribbon through, and wear it like a fashionable bonnet.
- Epiphora: wow
- Epiphora: i am not sure that would be fashionable in the least
- Sugarcunt: IT'S JIMMYJANE.
- Epiphora: ok true
OMG, amazing deal! Now until the end of July, order something from NobEssence, then email firstname.lastname@example.org with the subject line “Happy Birthday!” to get 35% off your order. This is your chance to get a sweet deal on some toys I fuckin’ ADORE, like the Seduction (G-spotting BLISS) and Romp (butt BLISS). I’m sure the Tryst is amazing, too.
Tell Alicia that Epiphora sent you!
- Epiphora: they dodged...
- Epiphora: [the audience is] "Men who want to live out hardcore sex fantasies that they can't at home with their wife or girlfriend. I understand that it might be offensive to women (totally understand) but honestly its copy like that on the box that sell these. We quite literally can't make them fast enough. You should consider the Fuck Me Silly line of Mega Masturbators to be the 3D equivalent to hardcore XXX porn."
- Elodie: No, they do not understand
- Epiphora: nope
- Elodie: I hate Pipedream so much.
- Elodie: Also the assumption that every man who buys one of those, buys it for "hardcore sex fantasies" -- what?
- Epiphora: I KNOW
- Epiphora: and that it's like "hardcore XXX porn" (which btw who says that?)
- Elodie: And "well, yeah, it's misogynist, but it sells, so we're gonna keep being misogynist!"
- Elodie: God
- Elodie: Someone needs to go through this industry with a scythe
This chick just lived my dream.
“Do people ever give you shit like, ‘This is wrong!’?” I ask.
“I never paid attention to shit like that,” he says. “Honestly, they can fuck off. If someone came in here like, ‘What you do is a sin!’ I’d probably just start getting naked and if they wanted to stay here and yell at me, I’d start jerking off. ‘You wanted to make it awkward for me? Now I made it awkward for you,’” he says. I’m laughing pretty hard. “As long as you’re not hurting anybody? Who cares?”
He starts to say something about playing basketball then, but he fucks up the metaphor in a really obvious way. It’s clear he doesn’t know anything about sports.
“Go sports!” I say, making fun of him, back to a place where I feel at ease.
He picks it up right away. “Yeah! Go local sports team! They’re so good, that team!”
“So much better than that other team from the other town where I don’t live!” I say. And then, we’re both giggling insanely. It feels way more like the friends we might be at a Jewish summer camp in another dimension. “This is like, an Onion headline,” I say, through my laughter. He cracks up, echoing my earlier teasing, “Go sports! Yeah! Whatever guys do when they hang out!” He clearly has no idea.
I can only think of one that is made of a high-quality material: the Mistress by Vixen Creations. It does have a pronounced head, but that is the only phallic thing about it. Pronounced heads are fabulous for G-spot stimulation anyway.
Vixen Creations used to make its Leo in silver glitter, but they don’t anymore (it does come in IVORY SHIMMER, though). That one’s a tiny bit more phallic, and a little more girthy, than the Mistress.